Fast Lane
by NitroStation
Summary: To be stuck in traffic, in the boiling sun... with a spider on your wind-shield. Knockout tries to get through it, but Airachnid doesn't like being ignored. KO/Airachnid, AU with Airachnid having a car alt mode. Rated M for explicit song lyrics and loooots of suggestiveness.


_Because there's never enough Knockout/Airachnid. This is my third fic about this couple, but not related to my previous two. And ooooh lordy, I've been meaning to do this for a while. Airships have completely taken me- that is, shipping Airachnid with absolutely everyone. _

_IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET HER SOME LOVE IN THIS FANDOM THEN BY PRIMUS I WILL DO IT_

_IT'S ALL EMMY-16'S FAULT_

_CURSE YOU SPARK SISTER FOR FILLING MY HEAD WITH SUCH GLORIOUS PROMPTS_

_But anywayyy this one stemmed from one that she came up with, that involved Knockout being stuck in traffic... with Airachnid just a few lanes away. Also Airachnid has a car alt mode instead of a helicopter because I don't know, it was her idea and I like it damn you. Also listening to deadmau5 while writing spawns some strange things..._

_ON WITH THE SHOW_

**xx**

It was one thing to be stuck with patrol duty.

Another to be trapped on the roads.

But it was a _whole other variety _of thing when Knockout had to suffer through it all while surrounded by _hideous _earth vehicles. Station wagons, SUV's and all other sorts of ugly scrapheaps crowded all around him, the exhaust fumes threatening to crawl under Knockout's precious paint job and peel it off. If he found a single flake of paint missing when he finally escaped from the traffic lock...

The afternoon Californian sun baked the tarmac under his wheels and turned his interior into an oven. And from the furious rhythms of car horns and shouting humans, he wasn't the only one feeling the negative effects. Of course he _had _to finish his patrol in what the humans called California when the highways swelled from late afternoon rush hour. Or rather, several hours. Primus, he would have just Ground Bridged himself back to the comfort of the Nemesis just as a big 'frag you' to the humans and their ridiculous highway systems. But _nooo, _Megatron's insistence on constant disguise kept such a wish from coming true. So Knockout was doomed to spend the next few hours within the company of smoke, noise and cursed heat.

He hated Earth slightly more with each day that went by.

"Not used to tight spaces, Knockout?" The sudden silky chords of a voice chiming through his comm unit shocked him out of his anger laced stupor and caused his car horn to blare reflexively. The voice laughed at Knockout's reaction of 'Fallen forsaken!' and continued while he tried to recover himself. "Knowing you, there's only _one _tight space you want to be in..."

"Careful Airachnid, people might think you're _flirting _with me of all things." His smooth reply carried a sharp edge that he aimed right towards the femme on the other end of the line.

"What can I say, I get bored easily. And you're not the only one trapped by human forces," Airachnid said back, and Knockout could almost sense the smirk on her lips. "Two lanes down from you, Sweet Rims."

_'By the Allspark, why does she have to call me that...' _Not only would he have to deal with crippling boredom, boiling heat and screaming brats all along the highway lane, now he'd spend all that wonderful time being tormented by the master of spike-teasing herself. He hesitantly initiated his scanners and- Oh Primus. Two lanes to the left of him, just like she said. Within his alt mode his optics swivelled around, and the sleek curves of a luxury black Lambo and the shine of polished metal met him. His engines revved involuntarily from the sight.

"I must say, you _do _know how to pick a good vehicle mode. I recently had mine fixed up... want to see?" Before he could answer a resolute _no_, several files arrived over his network connection and opened in his storage unit. All images of Airachnid and her alt mode; sideways, from the front, interior, _under the hood..._

"Of course it's not entirely practical to wear black on a day like this," Airachnid admitted as Knockout veered his optics away and closed the attachments; he was _not _in the mood for her right now. "But a girl's got to look good."

"Does Megatron know you're out here?" Knockout bit back, intent on steering the conversation away from anything that might heat his systems into possible meltdown.

"Oh, I don't think he needs to know about our little meet-up."Her answer came in a purr very alike to her engine's own noise, and Knockout had to struggle not to step on the gas and plow through the whole damn line of cars. "Besides, you wouldn't tell on me."  
"What makes you think that?"  
"You like me too much."  
"Hah! And my buffers are gold." A human in a filthy Hummer next to him started blaring his horn and shouting profanities out the window. Knockout considered giving the little parasite's doors a jolt of electricity, but decided against it. _  
_"Sarcasm really doesn't suit you, sweetie," Airachnid practically simpered. He regretted declining the option of being able to turn off his comm unit during its last upgrade. "Well, if you're going to continue being so cold, I'm going to tune into some _human_ radio."

"Good luck with that," Knockout huffed, relieved that he could at least get some peace from her if not from the blasted humans all around him.

He didn't count on Airachnid picking the electronic station.

"Oh, I do_ love _this song," she said with a slight moan as the sound of human music from her radio filtered through her comm line and to Knockout's audios.

_/Hey baby, what's crackin' , who ya mackin', whatcha doin', who ya screwin', whatcha drinkin', whatcha thinkin?'/_

"They call _that _mus-" Knockout's jeer was aruptly cut off by the next line of lyrics.

_/Say my name, play your game. Wanna do me, wanna screw me? I'm your pet, make me wet./_

Airachnid's mouth was twisted into a smirk at the stuttered roaring of Knockout's engine and the buffets of heat coming off of him. Out of all the Decepticons she was forced to live with on her return, Knockout had proved to be the most entertaining to tease.

_/Don't ya stare, I don't care. Want some fun ? Make me cum, keep it goin' cause it's snowin'/_

_'Ignore it Knockout, just- just concentrate on... on getting out of here...' _Knockout repeated the mantra all through his processor as his denta dug into his lips and his engine threatened to overheat. Primus help him, it was so damn hot... so damn bored... some fusion of frustration, irritation and several other emotions he didn't care to name was clogging his mind up.

_/Tie me up, pin me down, flip me over upside down, make me make that fuckin' sound/_

Underneath the dirty vocals he swore he could hear Airachnid's voice breaking through, joined with the human in a dual effort to make Knockout melt. The chorus hit him with full force, howls and moans and mewls that made every part of him throb in time with the pounding bass.

Frustration, anger, desire, annoyance... _so damn hot._

_/Make me make that fuckin' sound/_

_'Gladly.'_

**xx**

The Command Centre always held a particularly icy atmosphere, predominated with the cutting figure of Megatron standing sentinel. Now, that atmosphere had entered absolute zero.

The room was lit only by the light of a holoscreen in the centre, which illuminated a very nervous Knockout and Airachnid with something naughty glinting in her optics. Megatron stood in the background, practically growling in displeasure and his mouth set in a deeper scowl than usual.

"Care to explain why you are both _plastered all over the human information networks?!" _he bellowed, Knockout yelping in surprise and Airachnid rolling her dancing optics. The screen before them displayed several websites from the human Internet, as well as images and videos. All of which featured two certain robots. In some _very intimate _positions.

"No answer then?" Megatron said as he approached the two, Knockout cowering away from him while Airachnid placed her hands on her hips. "Then perhaps you can shed some light onto WHAT COMPELLED YOU TO FRAG IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONGESTED HIGHWAY?!" Before Knockout could splutter an adequate answer, he was suddenly thrown against the nearest wall by a furious fist.

"You disgust me," he spat at them both, glaring at Airachnid next to him. She returned his sentiments by sticking her glossa out when his back was turned.

**xx**

"Did we check that site?"  
"Yep."  
"And that one?"

"Uh huh."  
"Oh, how about-"

"Jack, trust me when I say that the internet is now _totally_ Autobot free thanks to us."

"_Ooooh, _I wouldn't say that, Raf," Miko's voice flew from across the foyer as she approached the boys sat at the laptop, nudging between them- with abject protests from both- and usurping control from Raf.

"Hey!" he objected as Miko typed in the address for the international news website. "What are you-"  
"Trust me guys, we _need _to see this," she said exitedly as the website loaded up. "The internet might be_ Autobot _free, but not _Decepticon _free." Before they could fully scan the page, Miko clicked on the first headline and a video recording of a special report shown that day popped up.

"Miko, just tell us what's-"Jack was interrupted by a call for hush from Miko as she turned the volume up while the video began to play.

"And in the very _strange_ corner of news today, drivers on the AO4 highway out in California were met with a shocking and albeit _confusing _sight." Raf and Jack faced Miko with confused looks themselves, but she simply pointed back towards the computer screen. Very shaky and pixellated videos played over the announcers voice now.

"It's unknown exactly what happened here earlier this afternoon, but eyewitnesses talk of two cars that _transformed _into robot-like shapes in the middle of the highway." The boy's mouths dropped open as a different video was played. Even with the low quality of the footage, the red and black armour was unmistakable. "What happened next is more vague, it seems the shapes _fused together _in some sort of joining sequence. Videos and pictures taken of the event are all suspiciously scrambled and of very low quality, but sound remains unaffected. One man who got too close to the action was actually blown back by the force of bass lines resonating through the ground. " A series of images now showed on the screen, and the children could barely believe what they were seeing. Knockout, Airachnid... red on top of black. Miko suddenly erupted into a fit of giggles at the sight, while Raf just looked confused.

"I don't get what's happening..." he said as an audio clip played out from the laptop's speakers. Over Miko's laughter it sounded very similar to dubstep, though peppered with Airachnid's and Knockout's voices. Screaming some _very_ inappropriate things.

"Trust me Raf, you _really _don't want to," Jack replied with revulsion evident in his tone, making to cover the younger boys ears as the two Cybertronian voices grew louder. Miko was on the floor, holding her sides in pain at the sounds.

"At the now deserted site of the event, all that was left behind was large puddles of a yet to be identified fluid on the road. So, what just happened here?" the announcer continued over the chaos. "Some kind of government experiment gone wrong? A botched terrorist attack? Officials have yet to make a statement on the event and denied comment when questioned. Perhaps we will never know."

"I bet Megatron'll know what happened, huh Jack?" Miko joked breathlessly at his traumatised expression as she fell into another pit of giggles, legs waving in the air.

"Miko, what did you do this time?" Bulkhead's accusation rang out through the base as the Wrecker approached the children. It was a while before she could choke out an answer.

"N-nothing, Bulk, I promise. B-but the-the Decepticons were doing a _lot_-" She couldn't finish from the fresh onset of laughter. Bulkhead turned his confused optics to the boys. Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Watch the news," he said cryptically, walking away from the laptop on the floor with Raf following him like a lost puppy.  
"But Jack, I want to know what happened!"  
"I'll tell you when you're older."

With raised eyeridges, Bulkhead looked at the laptop screen and checked the headline shown. His optics instantly morphed from puzzled to shocked.

"MIKO, I DON'T WANT YOU WATCHING THAT KIND OF STUFF!" He yelled just as the young girl recovered.

"Oh lighten up Bulk! Look, you can _barely _even tell that they're-"  
"I'm not listening!" he lilted with hands over his audios, walking stiffly away as Miko rolled her eyes.

"Parents,"she huffed as she scrolled through the image slideshow made especially for the news report. _'Too bad it's such low res...' _she thought with a twinge of regret. Then a new thought wound through her mind, and caused her forehead to wrinkle in consideration.

"Just how _do _robots do that?" With a long look at Bulkhead's retreating form, Miko sprang up and ran towards him.

"Come on Bulk-"  
"I'm not telling you, Miko."  
"I have a right to kno-"  
"No ya don't."

"It's a simple ques-"

"I said NO."

"Fine then," Miko grumbled, crossing her arms in a huff. "If _you _won't tell me... HEY OPTIMUS!"

"MIKO GET BACK HERE!"


End file.
